Common Bonds Tie Us Together
On Saturday I drove my two teenage children to the mall. I’m not a fan of malls during the quietest times of the year, so imagine my anxiety as I pulled into the overly crowded parking lot 8 days before Christmas.
I had warned the kids that I would commit to staying for one hour, but after that there were no guarantees. We synchronized our watches and agreed to rendezvous at 4:34 p.m. (I tried to set the time for 4:30 p.m. but Heaven forbid I cheat them off 4 minutes of mall madness.)
Within minutes my heart was racing and my breathing became difficult. What is it that makes it seem like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the building? Oh… that’s right… it’s because thousands of people are racing around leaving their carbon dioxide behind.
My first time check showed that only 8 minutes had passed. UGH!
First I wandered in to Filene’s. This is a store that overwhelms me almost immediately. I focused on finding the jewelry counter. Unfortunately, once I found it I oculdn’t see the products because it was so crowded. I escaped back in to the mall traffic.
I had ineffectively used up 4 minutes.
I walked in to the Bath & Body Works store to see if they had a bottle of my daughter’s favorite body spray. This is a store I typically have trouble with. I don’t want to suggest that their products smell bad… but there are so many smells that my head immediately begins spinning. On Saturday I happened to get caught in a wave of traffic. It took me too many minutes to break free and escape the store (without Beth’s body spray). For my efforts I was rewarded with an inkling of a headache. But I had killed another 5 minutes.
I let the flow of traffic carry me to the Walden Books store. I stepped out of the frenzy and in to a world I’m comfortable and familiar in. Ahhh… I immediately headed for my favorite section… business.
Imagine my surprise when I saw my daughter looking at Manga books. We smiled at each other, commented on the craziness in the mall and then I headed off to my seemingly private corner of the store.
I plucked a book off the shelf and plopped my backside onto a stool. As I flipped through the pages I felt the anxiety leave my shoulders and neck.
I stayed there looking at books until it was time to rendezvous with my kids. I fought my way through the crowd and arrived minutes early hoping they would do the same. I was also hoping they wouldn’t ask to stay longer… I didn’t think I had the strength of will to last another 30-60 minutes.
Luckily they were both as drained of energy as I was. As we burst through the exit doors into the fresh, frigid air we all inhaled deeply. We strolled to the van and breathed sighs of relief when we reached it. Ahhhhh…
My daughter, Beth said, “It’s funny how we all ended up at the bookstore.”
“Oh really?” I said. “I didn’t know Sean went there too.”
“Yeah, I saw him just before I saw you,” she said.
In fact, we had each purchased a book–for ourselves–at the bookstore.
Books, as you might imagine, play a big part in our home life. If you look around any room, you will see books. Books of all types on many topics. We share our books. We read things we might not normally read because someone said, “This is an amazing book! You just have to read it.” And we do.
I’ve read books on the Civil Rights Movement that I probably wouldn’t have read without my daughter’s encouragement. I’ve read fantasy and science fiction books that my son dropped into my hands making me promise to read them. I’ve read techno-thrillers that left my husband’s mind spinning with the brilliance of the plot.
Books are one of many things that tie my family together. We can talk about and share our love of books and learning.
What are the common bonds that tie you with the people in your life? What can you share and learn from each other? For some families it could be sports or politics. It could be animals or humanitarian causes. It could be gardening or cooking. There are so many ways that people can forge bonds between them.
Once you find the common bond, you can work to make it stronger. You can learn more about the other person and you can share more about yourself, too. Common bonds provide quick and easy bridges to help you find your way back to each other should you get separated.
This week, today, I hope you’ll look at the important relationships in your life and see if you can identify one or more common bonds. Then determine what you can do to ensure that this bond stays strong.
You may determine that the bond isn’t strong enough to sustain your relationship long term (husbands and wives whose only bond is the children may have a tough time staying together once the children are grown). If that is the case, now is the time to start sending out new connectors to that person. Start finding new common interests so that when the original bond dissolves or breaks, you still have something strong and worthy holding you together.
