Are You Taking Advantage of Someone’s Kind Heart?
Warning… the names and details in the following column have been disguised to protect the innocent. But hopefully the guilty will recognize themselves! 
Andrea is the hard-working, totally loving type of woman that can’t (won’t) say no to her children, family, friends, or anyone else who knows her name. Her full-time job seems to be taking care of everyone else.
Today, though, I have to admit that I’m feeling slightly frustrated with Andrea. You see she spends so much time helping others that she doesn’t have time to spend on herself. She wants to start her own business. She has everything she needs… the resources, business contacts, and a great product to start something that could be financially beneficial to her and her family.
Her products are something that she’s made and given to family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members, and everyone else she knows for free. These same people have told her “You should go into business and sell these!”
She finally decided to take their advice. But you know what? These people still expect her fulfill their orders for free!
Now remember, Andrea is a woman who loves to help and please people. She really gets a kick out of it. I don’t believe it is from an underlying need for approval, to cover up low self-esteem, or to hold her “greatness” over someone else’s head. She genuinely has a kind and giving spirit.
When we were talking about her business vision, Andrea told me she is getting requests from her children and friends to make things so that they can give them to others as gifts.
HUH??? And they don’t want to pay for them? It reminds me of the USPS commercial where the woman delivers cookies to people’s homes and they stick the plate of cookies into a Priority Mail package and ask the woman to take it to the Post Office for them.
I just want to scream… “The nerve of those people!”
Yet this is exactly what Andrea is facing. So what can she do? She doesn’t feel comfortable asking these people to pay her since she’s given them her product for so many years. But that attitude, of course, is not going to pay for her supplies or time. She needs to start treating this as a business.
So here are some ideas for Andrea…
1. Make one free product for those people closest to you. This could be your gift to them (as individuals). Let these people know that additional orders will need to be purchased at full price.
2. Remind people that you are now in business. Express your discomfort at asking them to purchase your products, but remind them that they did encourage you to take this step. Ask them to support your growing business.
3. If you feel really uncomfortable collecting money for your product–(get over it!)–you could choose a charity to support with the funds collected from friends and family members. Ask people to pay the full amount for your product, deduct your costs, then donate the rest to this charity. This accomplishes several things… a) It makes people pay for the gifts they are giving. If they bought them somewhere else, they’d have to pay for them; b) It allows you to cover your costs to create the products; c) It sets a foundation for you to continue donating part of your profits to charity.
4. Stop refusing to accept payment from people who offer. Let them treat you like a business person. Business is about making money. You have a great product that is in high demand. Let people pay for it. Let them show their support and respect to you and your business. One way they can do this is with money.
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If you are a person who is guilty of taking advantage of someone’s kindness or inability to say no… grow up! Think of the other person for a change.
If you’ve been taking advantage of someone like Andrea, then start paying her for her time and service/product. I know, you’ve offered and she’s refused, right? Did you let her get away with it?
Here are some ways to deal with those people who give too much and won’t accept anything in return…
1. Offer to pay fair market value for the service (if you can afford it) or what you can afford if it is less that fair market value. Or you can trade services/products. Just make sure the exchange is even.
2. Write out a check to the person (or business if it is a case like Andrea’s) or pay cash. Tell the person, “This is what I’d like to pay you. I hope you’ll keep it to grow your business. But if you prefer, I hope you’ll donate it to your favorite charity.” Never ask what the person did the with the money. It isn’t your business (no pun intended).
3. Pretend that you are making an order for a friend. “I told my friend Jean that you make the best stuff… she wants to order six of them to give as gifts. How much will that be?”
4. Help your friend grow her business by telling everyone you know about the great product or service that your friend provides. Carry some of her business cards with you and become an unofficial ambassador of her company.
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Andrea has a kind heart. She has so much to offer other people. She has so many dreams of what she wants to do to make the world a better place. By serving only those closest to her, she is making a tremendous difference.
But just imagine if she can make this business viable. Just imagine if she has the financial resources available to do more and be more. Just imagine how many lives she will touch with her passion and her spirit.
Andrea… don’t hold yourself back. Ask for and expect to be paid for your amazing product. Then continue to be a faithful steward of the money God has blessed you with.
Andrea’s friends and loved ones… don’t hold Andrea back. Demand to pay for her amazing product. Continue to support and encourage her business growth. By supporting her you are supporting all the good works she is doing.
