Welcome to Our World
An article in the October 2005 Reader’s Digest (”Big Boys Don’t Cry” by Dianne Hales) made me chuckle. All I could think was: Welcome to Our World, Boys!
As gender roles and rules have loosened, some men–dubbed Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAGs)–have dared to let their softer side show. But many men remain confused about how much they can dare to share. “In one breath a woman says she wants us to be emotionally open,” says Westover, who is divorced. “In the next she wants us to be her rock. Women are asking us to perform these incredible emotional gymnastics, and it is messing with our heads. Men don’t have a road map or a role model to show us how to be both emotional and strong.”
I say again… Welcome to our world!
Isn’t this the same, only opposite of what women faced when entering the work force? Especially as we stepped in to leadership or traditional male roles?
Haven’t we been struggling for decades with the challenge of being feminine yet strong? Haven’t strong women been labeled as witches, too aggressive, or man haters? Haven’t women who embrace their emotional side been labeled as weak, wishy-washy, or too emotional for the business world?
Yes, we women are familiar with the head games that are being played. We deal with them too. Many women have learned to use both logic and emotion to make decisions and influence their behaviors. Many women are extremely successful in being a rock or a pillow depending on the circumstances.
Most of us, like you, are still trying to figure it all out though. So gentlemen… don’t give up on us or yourselves. As you struggle to incorporate both the hard and soft, logical and emotional aspects of your nature into everyday situations, perhaps you will gain understanding and respect for the women who have already made tremendous progress.
And perhaps men and women both will be a little slower to pass judgment on others and will instead watch and learn ways that they can handle themselves in a variety of life situations.
